BY PHUMZILE NDLOVU
Well, it’s been a minute—more like three to five years—since I last penned my two cents’ worth about the other gender and relationships in general. But hey, who’s counting? It’s been hectic between shifting desks, elevating, and moving on with digital times to my second home, Eswatini Positive News.
With my daughters now teenagers, I find myself giving more advice about boys as they ask questions like, “Why is Sipho acting like this?” Quite frankly, I also don’t fully understand how men’s brains work, because obviously, I’m a woman. I can only use my four decades (and a couple more years) of experience to draw certain conclusions about men in general—and women as well. By no means am I an expert, but I’ve been there, walked down the aisle, got the T-shirt, got out, and came out the other side still sane!
So here it goes. As my daughters and some of my girlfriends have asked: How would they know if Sipho is really serious or truly in love with a girl? The answer is actually quite simple. From what I’ve seen, men are straightforward creatures. They act out exactly how they feel about you.
If he really is into you, he will go out of his way to show you. He will call often. He will text you. He will respond almost immediately to your messages—not days later. He will make time for you. Even if he’s the busiest man in the world with a demanding career, he will prioritise seeing you. He might even take you along on work trips or to some meetings so you can understand his hustle and appreciate it. He will plan dates. He will shift things around just to spend time with you—without being nagged.
He will introduce you to his friends and siblings to show that you are his woman. He will take you to parties, braais, and festivals, even buy matching outfits for those picture-perfect moments. He will show you off. He may not post you online, but one thing is sure—you won’t be hidden. He will even take you to meet his family if he intends to make it official and take you off the market.
That’s a man who is into you. You will know it. You will feel it.
But if you are confused—if he’s always too busy when you want to see him, if he barely answers your calls (especially at night), if he’s nowhere to be found on weekends, if he takes days to respond with some lame story about being busy—then, girl, I’m sorry to break it to you, but that man is not really into you. If he introduces you as “just a friend” when he bumps into people he knows, not as his girlfriend as UlaNdlovu or ulaNkhosi, ngiyabekisa, then you already have your answer.
The truth is, because he can’t openly tell you that you’re just a convenience in his life for certain occasions, he will breadcrumb you. Before you know it, you’ll be in a situation ship, not a relationship.
So before you find yourself Googling “signs that he loves me, “ask yourself this: Why am I confused? Because if he loves you, you will know. You won’t need to doubt. Before you look foolish, asking why he doesn’t return your calls after five missed ones, or why he never makes time for you—just read the signs he’s been sending loud and clear. If he acts like he doesn’t care about you, its because he really doesn’t care, believe it. Walk away with your head held high. I promise you, there is no reason to settle when it comes to matters of the heart.
So here’s the same advice I gave to my teenage daughters: if he loves you, you will know and you will feel it in your heart. You will see it, and it will show. But if you are confused about where you stand with Sipho, well—that’s your answer!
Till next week, take care of your heart, keep looking beautiful, and remember: you are a queen!
(Pic: Freep!k)
