BY PHUMZILE NDLOVU
Not so long ago, I had my then Sipho come to pick me up to take me to work — it was our routine. I had had the conversation with him previously that only his mom or sister can have the exception of sitting in the passenger seat. So imagine my shock when he came with some lady who is his neighbour, sitting in my seat!
I greeted both of them and then kept quiet afterwards. She was dropped off along the way, and when she got off, he assumed I would sit in the front, but I didn’t — if anything, I was now “occupied” with my phone, fuming. But because umuntfu’ wakho uyamati’, he had to stop along the way and ask me to come sit in the front, which I refused at first. Then he stopped again because he had figured kuyabhedza nyalo, and asked me again, and only then did I change seats. Yes, dramatic I know, but I had mentioned this before, so I had to remind him that he should never pull that stunt ever again, as it was never going to end well.\
Today’s article is for bo Sipho. This is a kind, or rather gentle, reminder to bo Sipho from the big sister: never ever allow another lady to sit in the passenger seat, especially if you are well aware that chances of running into your Sibongile are quite high. You see, you have to understand that — we associate that seat with the girlfriend, wife, or that special woman in your life, whatever you refer to her as, or even baby mama if she’s still in the picture ngiyabekisa. Otherwise, she must sit at the back with the baby.
The only women we can look the other way for and not cause a scene are your mother, your sister, your cousin, or your daughter. Any other woman is a big no, ngeke kwehle kahle to your Sibongile. So no female colleagues, no friends who are women, no neighbours, no lady from church, no “she’s just a colleague,” or baby mama whom you claimed was no longer in the picture — the front passenger seat is reserved for the woman in your life.
But if you’re brave enough to try it, knowing very well Sibongile might see you or will be at the final destination where you’re going, be my guest. For women, that seat is reserved or marked the minute you agree to be in a relationship, or date, or hang out, or get engaged, or you have paid for her lobola ngiyabekisa.
By nature, women are very territorial. There are things we don’t take kindly to — as honest or harmless as you may think it is, we just don’t smile at such. So hearing that your Sipho picked up another woman to go somewhere — I don’t care even if it’s work or whatever occasion — I can bet you your woman was not happy about it. She might not say it, but trust me; she doesn’t like it at all.
To mark our territory; we do leave our traces in your car that you won’t see, but another Sibongile will. If she, for instance, does what most women do when in his car — they always search the cubbyhole to see if there’s a trace of another woman to prove your story that you’re single (which, as we know, is not always the truth). Sometimes- kuyenteka that there are actually three of you ngiyabekisa. But if there is someone snooping in your car, likely they will find lipstick, earrings, or other things that will scream to another Sibongile — but you as the owner of the car will never see.
So take it from me as your big sis advising you: to keep the calm in your life, avoid allowing other women to sit in the passenger seat so you can have peace in your mjolo life.
Till next week — what’s ahead is greater than what is behind. Keep moving!
