BY PHUMZILE NDLOVU
Much to my surprise, my male readers and friends told me they know that we hide stuff at their place. One of my male friends told me they know all our tricks; they just humour us for peace’s sake. He did, however, agree that they don’t always spot everything we hide to show the other Sibongile that nami ngijola naye. In fact, they only find out when the other Sibongile asks them about it.
To say I’m defeated is an understatement. Here I was thinking we had them right where we wanted them, only to learn that bayati- we do these things to prove a point — which sometimes is unnecessary, because some of them are actually faithful to their girlfriends. In that case, you will find your stuff exactly where you left it, unmoved or untouched, but bayathula nje basibuke.
Previously I detailed how we mark our territory: from the earrings we hide in his car, the lipstick we never use, to the lacy G-string we’ve never worn — all so the other Sibongile can know that akasiyedvwa. Because honestly, this gender is something else. And let’s not forget the bedding we buy for Sipho that speaks volumes the minute another Sibongile walks into his bedroom. I’m pretty sure she’s not comfortable sleeping on that bed after spotting that the bedding was bought by another woman. I also used to find it uncomfortable to sleep at a guy’s place without changing the sheets — but let’s move on.
They also see the clothes we hide at their place and pretend they didn’t see them. If they ask why your clothes suddenly found their way into his wardrobe kani you don’t even stay with him, it will ring alarm bells and start an interrogation they’d rather avoid. So they keep quiet. Meanwhile, we don’t pay rent but suddenly have a “second home” at their place — especially when we start leaving pink coffee mugs, just nje, so another woman can easily spot that there’s definitely someone else.
One guy said to me, “Yati Phumzile, we see all the tricks you guys play, we just downplay some of it for peace’s sake. Also because we know that if we ask why you suddenly have a drawer full of your stuff — which I didn’t approve or sign off ,it will only trigger an uncomfortable conversation -but because I want you in my life, we play dumb.”
He went on to enlighten me and asked me to share this with my female readers: at the end of the day, as much as some guys can be players and have three girlfriends at a time, there is always one woman who actually has their heart. It’s because they’re guys — and it’s in their DNA to ‘see’ other people ngiyabekisa, well, most of them. Don’t ask me why or how. I just work here.
So there you have it, my lady readers: we can hide and buy feminine things for his place, or stash stuff in his car to mark our territory, but the truth remains — there is always just one woman they really love. The other Sibongiles are simply… there, because that’s how most of them are wired. Take it or leave it.
So by all means, continue hiding things at his place to show the other Sibongile that nawe ukhona. But just know that at the end of the day, it’s pointless if you’re not the one. I was told there’s always just one — your job is to make sure you are that one girl. Otherwise, it’s pointless to mark your territory *kani yena akekho lapho*. If anything, you are his second option.
So here’s my two cents’ advice —Make sure you are The Girlfriend- before wasting three years with Sipho, only to discover you’re actually just the side chick. Trust me, there are always signs if you look close enough to see if you the one or not. Otherwise, all the things you kept at his place trying to mark your territory were just a waste of time — and you might get the shock of your life when you see him posting his wedding pictures after disappearing for the weekend.
Till next week, you are beautiful and worthy of love, start believing it too!
(Courtesy Pics)
